Caution! Obscenities ahead.

This day has been a thrill. I'm coming down with a cold that I've been hoping to stave off using mental powers (Note to self: try harder next time). Fearing I might end up coughing all through a movie I got invited to this evening I decided against going. But later today I renegged on that decision and went anyway.

Now, I'm very grateful to KR for the invite to Once and I really enjoyed the film. KR is lucky - she gets a lot of free tix (Note to self: keep as friend until the luck runs out!:). BUT I knew there was a reason I perhaps should have stayed at home.

Firstly, I left the house thinking it was 8:25 - giving me time to get into the city by 8:45. But, got in the car and realised my clock's ten minutes slow on my Mac. Rushed there, over the limit, ping, flashing white light, little white sign, $180 speeding fine (plus!)

Forget the free ticket to the movie therefore, I just paid for everyone's ticket in the cinema!

But the story's not finished yet. Rushing for a park now, driving down Rundle Street with Taxi in front. Taxi enters intersection to turn right (in front of The Stag). I follow, thinking he's going to turn all the way through »»»» Nudge«««« Oh fuck I've just hit him. Driver gets out and gives me an earful. I apologise. Driver then waves a few non verbals. I tell him very politely just to chill out. He heads to get back in his car. All over with? Nope. Driver turns back to me, comes up to window and shouts 'Did you just tell me to fuck off?!' - Me? No.

'Here we go...' I'm thinking. 'Right' he says. 'Pull over and we'll sort this shit out! You've just had an accident with me and I'm taking your name down!'

So I do the right thing. Sure I hit him (very lightly I add) so it's the proper thing to do now I guess. Pull over. Driver rants and raves. I check his damage and there's nothing but a slightly bent tow bar (I'm not even sure I dented it - my number plate is bent marginally (a wafer thin bit of crappy metal Vs a large arm thick chunk of steel?). He talks at me like I'm some idiot. I talk back politely, apologise again but walk away feeling like dirty meat. Fuck I hate that sort of crap.

The film, Once, was great however. Good music and thanks again KR.

Alas, rant not over with yet.

I fucken Capital 'aich Hate McDonalds. I wanted a coffee after the movie and to prime me for the evening. As it was now 11:00pm, CIBO was shut so I had to settle on Grimaces Bowelwater. Driveway and Carpark was full of 'Pplate - 18 year old - think they're homies College Boys driving Daddy's Car.' (I know because I was almost one of them). So I decided I'd go inside to get my coffee figuring it'd be quicker service at the little McCrappe counter off to the side of the main counter. I was soooo wrong.

Little service girl who's maybe been eating too many of Ronalds nugggets took about SEVEN minutes to mix up ONE Banana Frappe. She was in noooo hurry. And you call this Fast Food? I don't think McDonald's should really hire people who physically can't walk. The whole of The Brighton Junior Calisthenics Team got served before me at the main service counter. Counter? Desk? Trough? Embalming Table? I'm not sure what you call it.

And why is the lighting so bad at McDonalds? Everyone looks ghastly morbid and twice their age and you have to squint like a dehibernating mole to read the ugly menu. Plus, late on a Friday night when it's full of so many other pastey white tossers you almost get fooled into thinking you're on some pissed bender with everyone else. If anyone has the answer to the lighting situation let me know. And don't tell me it's to make the food look fresher.

And another thi...

Forgive me. I'm not usually this impatient and shitty. Just sometimes I think someone up there has it in for me.


kristy said...

well it's nice to be the highlight of someones night for once :)

carolyne said...

gee whiz.
sounds like one ripper of a day. but then, it could always be worse...

Eliz said...

hehhehe, made me giggle this sunday morning.. sorry, shouldn't laugh at your misfortune... but you survived so its all good : )